Why It's Monday and I'm so ready for the weekend

Over the last three years, there have been few things consistent in my life. There are 5 friends that have been consistently in my life, through thick and thin.

The other is the Great American Beer Festival. 3 nights of beer from around the country, people handing out free hugs, laughing, sitting down in the midst of the convention center. Overall, each experience at the GABF has been incredibly fun.

This year, it only gets better.

My friend Bri is coming into town to visit this weekend and is joining me for the GABF. I'm so excited to see her and spend time with her and of course, to drink beer with her.

And I'm okay if this is my last GABF for a while. I don't know if my liver deserves this abuse each year, but it is consistent and who knows, maybe I'm ready for another thing to become consistent.

The reality of Kenya

My friend Bri recently sent me this article regarding the dump in Dandora.

And this is the reality of what I saw while I was there.

They aren't storks, they are pterodactyls. The site of a school next door is overwhelming because you hear the children laughing over playing together and then you see the site of what they are playing next to. To think that my friends lived next door to this and survived is amazing to me.

This is the reality of Nairobi. This is what needs help. This is affecting the communities that are near by. The government, both Kenyan and world wide governments, need to figure out a solution to this problem. Because it's dumb to think it's only affecting Kenya, it's happening in all developing countries. And it's changing people's lives.

I just wish I knew how to fix the problem. Because I can't imagine what this problem is going to be like in 50 years.

back in the day

In my freshman year of college, I received the following as advice to live by. And for some reason tonight, they seem just as true as they did in 1998. Today just seems like the type of day that I wish I was actually living them all out.

Everyone's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) by Baz Luhrmann

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97. Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience... I will dispense this advice now

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh, nevermind, you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now, how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked. You are NOT as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle
Tuesday

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with your's.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40. Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either - your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can... don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it... it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance... even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines they will only make you feel UGLY.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they might be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will rise, Politicians will philander, you too will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're
40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

It's turning out to be a good day

So, I went to the store today to pick up some stuff. You know, the basics...tortillas, milk, coffee. When I started to look for good coffee, something caught my eye. Oh that's right...for some reason King Soopers is selling DUNKIN' DONUTS coffee. That just rocks my world. If only it came with a Dunkin' Donuts donut, that would make this day the best!

And then I get home, to put away the groceries (I mean, I do live the most exciting life ever), take out the trash and get the mail. REI magazine, insurance bill, random letter from Bank of America. Which always scares me because they own my house and who knows what they are going to claim.

Oh that's right. I just got a random ass check that's completely legit. Who doesn't love random money?!

So, not only did I get the best coffee either, I'm now rich. Maybe tomorrow I'll met some hot guy that wants to ask me out.

Well, I can dream, can't I?

amen

The God I believe in is not so fragile that you hurt Him by being angry at him, or so petty that He will hold it against you for being upset with Him.

- Harold S. (Rabbi) Kushner

dreams are funny

And I don't mean the type of where you want to be in 10 years. I mean the type you have when you sleep.

2 nights ago, every dream I had included my best friend. I took it as a sign to call her, which I did yesterday. It was great to catch up with her, I miss her like crazy.

While I was in Africa, I had crazy dreams almost every night. Some are unmentionable on the internet while others included the new fall line up. I took it as my malaria pills tripping me out.

However last night's dreams were beyond anything I've had in a while.

One series of them included someone I met in Africa that I miss terribly and if he was here or if I was there, I would give it a shot. He's beautiful, kind, sensitive and hilarious. I've often asked my friend Bri if it's okay to propose to him. So far, she's said no.

Another series included someone who tormented me in my past and did it again in my dreams last night. I haven't had a bad dream in ages and last night's dreams were horrifying. I'd wake up from them and try to get back to the dreams with my African boy and couldn't....which made last night very long.

The last one included me meeting someone (a hot, single someone) at Home Depot. Perhaps I should stop by there this weekend. Maybe that means something too...

maybe my friends are right

I love "What Not to Wear" on TLC. And out of all the reality shows I watch, this is the only one that I would be on.

Some people compliment me on my fashion sense and in all honesty, everything I've learned is from "What Not to Wear". Thanks to Stacy and Clinton, I've learned how to look like a 27 year old at work, keeping my style and look classic and not like a 47 year old. I've learned that it's okay to wear my grey suit with my eggplant color shoes (PS-I got so many compliments on my new grey suit yesterday, it was great). I've learned what fits my body and what works with it as opposed to what will only make it worse.

But no matter what people say, I totally still want to be on this show. It might have something to do with $5,000 and a trip to New York, but I don't know. At least then I could by my dream shoes.

Until then, I'll just dream that Stacy and Clinton are my best friends who are willing to tell me when I look like crap in an outfit.

good bye to you

Today, I realized that I needed to stop reading someone’s blog. Not because of something mean or hurtful they have said it in, but it feels to me like reading someone’s life that I have no idea about.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll read this blog or this one. And even if I don’t know them, I don’t feel like we’ve ever had a relationship or that it ended one day because they chose one path and I chose another.

The fact of the matter is that at one point, I did have a friendship with this person. And the day it ended comes to mind every now and then. I remember it as if it was yesterday…when I was replaced by someone else in their life. And today, as I read through their blog, I realized I have no idea what is going on in their life, and frankly, I don’t if I want to know.

By reading their blog, I’m just continuing self-masochist ways. Causing pain to myself because I feel like I can continue to be a part of their life by reading what’s going on through a blog.
Not through coffee or a drink, but through their blog. Let’s be real, that’s no way to "know" someone….it’s not even intimate.

So until I feel like I can safely distant myself from their blog and not wonder why all of the sudden we are no longer friends, I need to go on a fast. Maybe that’s the only way I can heal from this friendship ending unexpectedly.

An Open Letter to Nickelback

Dear Nickelback,
For the past three days, I have woken up with your latest song "Rock Star" stuck in my head. And trust me, this isn't how I have wanted to wake up.

I've tried to deny the fact that I do find your song catchy and true on many levels, but it wasn't until I saw the music video that I realized how much I do appreciate you new song.

But to the radio stations in the rest of the country, please stop playing it every 15 seconds or else I'm going to hate it as much as I hate James Blunt's song "Your Beautiful", and I don't know if I hate anything as much as that song.

Hugs and Kisses,
Megs

6 years ago

On September 8, I watched my best friend walk down the aisle and marry the man she would spend the rest of her life with. It was one of the better days of my life because I saw the happiness in her eyes, in her smile, in the way that held his hand.

Little did I know 3 days later, the safe little world I knew would be destroyed.

On September 11, I woke up knowing something important had happened that day but couldn't remember what. I showered, got ready for class and turned on the TV while I ate breakfast. What I saw was the world I knew crumbling beneath fear. I walked down the streets in Manhattan (Kansas) towards class, wondering why they were still happening.

I sat in the Union afterward, watching the huge TV as everything came into view. 2 building crumbled, a hole ripped into another building, and a plane disintegrated into the earth in Pennsylvania. And I for some reason felt the need to call my best friend because even though she and her husband were in Hawaii, I wanted to know that they were okay.

And now 6 years later, I don't feel any safer in the world. This summer, I saw what corruption can do to a government. I saw poverty unlike anything I have ever imagined, crimes that were unthinkable, and yet I felt safe.

And then I came back to the states.

And all I've wanted since I've been back is Kenya. Why, when I have the safeness of the states, do I want to go back to a place that is anything but safe?

Is September 11 becoming a distant memory for me, or is it a reality that I don't know what to do with? Unfortunately, I don't have the answers. I don't think war was/is a solution to feeling safe, I don't think that pulling troops or adding more is the answer either. Nor is a new Democratic president a solution. In reality, it's going to take a lot for the world to feel like it did on that fall day 6 years ago. And perhaps, the reality is that it may never feel that way again...and maybe I'm going to have to live with that.

A little over a year ago

I wrote about how I was freaking out because I was asked to help with the marketing department while the marketing director was on maternity leave.

At the time, I had no idea what I was doing nor did I feel qualified to help. I have no background in marketing, and why I was chosen, I still have no idea.

Today I found out that she is having baby number 2 this afternoon. And while I am not freaking out as I did a year ago, I still feel like I am in for a doozy of a time. Doing it all by myself...again.

At least this time I feel prepared for it.

finding a piece of heaven

I don't know why I never knew about it earlier, but I have recently discovered Austin City Limits. Recently is an overstatement because every once and a while, I would stumble across this programing on PBS that would play great music live and 2 bands at once.

Tonight is a great example. I'm currently listening to Death Cab for Cutie and soon My Morning Jacket. From what I can understand, it's an intimate setting, where bands play a few songs and then another great band comes on. I mean, this might be my mecca.

I'm grateful that I keep finding this on Tuesday nights. Tuesday nights watching PBS. Kind of reminds me of listening to NPR on Sundays while doing sudoku and drinking coffee. Yep, it's definitely a trait of the inner grandma.

A House Divided

This Saturday, college football starts. Which means fall unofficially starts on Saturday. However, this Saturday, something greater is happening in the world.

Instead of your typical pansy-ass game that K-State starts with, we are starting with a true challenge. Kansas State will play in the 6:45 ESPN game versus Auburn.

This game also holds familial significance as well. My sister and brother-in-law graduated from Auburn. I graduated from K-State. This is a house divided game. We bought my dad 2 "dad" shirts, one from Auburn, one from K-State and my sister put them together. This way, he doesn't have to decide which team is better (though, I fully know he believes K-State is the better team).

So, in 4 days, I'm flying to Atlanta so that Saturday we all can go watch the game live and proud, celebrating a house divided.

GO CATS!!

oh yes, that is a pick up in my driveway

This morning, I was lucky, I got to sleep in a little. Why? Because I had jury duty this morning. So I started driving toward the courthouse, eating an apple and giving myself plenty of time to find everything I needed.

Unfortunately, I didn't get past Cherry Creek this morning.

On the way to jury duty, I rear-ended the car in front of me. I did plenty of good damage to the front of my car (the hood is bent, something is supposedly wrong with the radiator, my front license plate was a good 5 feet in front of my car). The car I hit, there was damage to their bumpers, and the car they hit, well, they didn't have any damage.

Thankfully, the cop I dealt with was incredible. She was nice and funny and really understood that shit like this happens. She did have to give me a ticket though. I finally got to the car repair place at 10 this morning and then I finally just got home from my car rental experience.

Right now, Enterprise has no economy cars. For the time being, I'm driving a red Dodge Ram pick up 4x4. I'm not a truck kind of girl (a SUV girl, yes, truck, not really). And it's sitting currently in my driveway. So until Enterprise gets me an economy car, I'll be driving my pick up in style.

Still, I can't decide what was worse, jury duty or the accident. I honestly thing it's half of one and 6 of the other.

comment control

There are many reasons I love comment control. One is so that when people leave beautiful, kind comments anonymously, I share them with the public (even though I wish I knew who they were).

However, when people leave jackassy ones that are just mean and uncalled for, I have every right to deny and just let it go.

So to whomever attempted to leave the a jackass comment yesterday, you'll notice you are denied...sorry buddy, there is a reason I don't have jackass-like people in my life, you are just one of the many reminders of why that is a good decision.

OH...MY...GOD

I'm enjoying a peaceful evening home, catching up on blogs when I came across Jeni's blog. Jeni and I went to middle school and high school together.

In her very first blog that I saw referenced the fact that my 7th grade science teacher was accused of having child porn.

OH...MY...GOD...

Here's the thing, he creeped me out so much in 7th grade. He had a dead cat as his hall pass. I always felt uncomfortable around him, but what was I suppose to do? He was strange but never did anything specific to me.

I had another teacher who was creepy in high school and thankfully he never did anything to me. I just wrote him off as creepy...who knows what either one of them did to fellow students while I was in school.

I grew up in what was considered a safe part of town. You could leave your doors unlocked and not worry about it. Things seemed normal, the only thing that you were told to avoid was the bike trail because supposedly people had been attacked. But never once was I afraid to be alone.

Who knows what could happen next...but I'm now reconsidering having kids, but I don't know if that is the solution either.

Update letter to Acura

In a recent letter to Acura, I made mention of how my dome light was now working and I simply wanted their powers to stop messing with me and my dome light.

Last night as I was getting into my car, it stopped working again. After working solid for 1 week, I was pretty stoked that it was going to work again...forever (or until the bulb burnt out, whichever came first).

Seriously, this is getting old. So, Acura, please stop hijacking my dome light. I'd like it back.

why what goes around comes around

Okay, many conservative Christians will find it hard to believe that I completely believe in karma. I believe that you get what you sow. You put out good vibes into the world, you get good vibes back. You put out shitty vibes, you get shit back.

I think it happens all the time...with parking spaces, people you meet, the grocery store.

Today is a perfect example. As I walking to a site check, I found some guy's wallet...or at least part of it. I wanted to make sure he got it back, not only for the 2 Old Navy gift cards, but also so that he didn't have to cancel his credit cards and worry about what someone might do with it. I called the University in which he attended and got his number (I was surprised how easily they gave it out). I called him to let him know that I had it and he should stop by and pick it up (especially since I'm going camping this weekend).

He came by my office today to pick up the wallet and left me a Starbucks gift card as a thank you...along with this note "Thanks a ton! Have a great weekend and I hope the karma pays you back".

All I can say is that I was doing something I would hope someone would do for me. It wasn't out of character to return it to him (though I was tempted to keep the Old Navy gift cards).

Here's the thing though. Ever since I've been back from Africa, I feel more relaxed, more centered, less spiny. Things I've waited to fall into place are being to and I feel like life is taking a much needed turn. The healing process is over from the last 2 years and I'm ready to take steps forward and in new directions.

Maybe my karma is changing, but all I know is I'm enjoying the ride and looking forward to what could be next.

an open letter to Acura

Dear Acura,
I love my car. It's a 2000 TL which has been a great vehicle for me to get from point A to point B. However, I do have a complaint.

In December of 2006, Denver was abused by multiple snow storms. Abused might be too strong of a word, but it definitely put a damper on the winter. Ever since the first snow storm (oh that's right, we had multiple), my dome light stopped working. I assumed that the bulb had burned out (I mean, it has been over 7 years) and I never got around to changing out the bulb. However, on the first day we had over 50 degrees, my dome light magically started working again. So, maybe it wasn't burned out. And then it stopped working again. By this point, I didn't care.

Sunday, though, after it stormed in Denver and I was soaked from being at one of the better concerts I've seen, my light started working again. It has consistently worked for the last 2 days. It's starting to freak me out. I don’t know if your company has magical powers to turn my dome light off and on, but if you can make sure it stays one way or the other, I'd appreciate it.

Hugs and kisses,
Megs

I'm back

And I've been back since last Thursday. And the past week has been hard, harder than I thought it would be.

There are moments when I'm so glad to be back. To have the ability to take a shower, lay in the ac, check email, etc...these are things to be grateful for. However, in the same breath, I miss Kenya. I miss tusker, samosas, and chapati. I miss Bri like crazy. I miss Jen, Josie, Jodi, Joolee and Sarah...I almost feel like I knew who I was more while I was in Kenya.

Here's what I realized about me:

• There are still people I think about, whether I want to or not. In fact, I had a dream about one of them, a dream that was pretty significant, however I can't share it with her. She hasn't pursued me in over a year, why the hell should I tell her about it.
• That my job is something I need/want to settle in the near future (defining near future is harder than I thought). Is it time to change or to realize that my job is providing the means for the life I really want.
• That I'm grateful for the life I have and the life I want.

But, life continues on. I go to concerts (I saw Ryan Adams' last night and loved every minute of it), I get haircuts, I take naps.

And I laugh:


But until things settle down, be prepared for the scattered.