Merry Christmas?

Since I was unemployed for most of 2009, I couldn't really afford to leave for the holidays. Which, all in all, isn't a bad thing. My folks came to visit for Thanksgiving and they have sent my presents to me. They've been neatly stacked at my front door because, well, I was lazy this year and decided not to put up a tree.

This isn't my first Christmas away from my family. I did it in 2007 when I didn't have the time off to travel because of Kenya. But the biggest difference is that I spent that Christmas with my friends at my house, lounging in pj's opening presents and laughing. We also went to see Juno that night. Overall, it was a great Christmas.

This Christmas is, well, something I'm not looking forward to. In all honesty, I almost wish I was traveling to a different city instead of staying in Denver. I'm not going to be completely alone. My friends Maria and Leah are beyond gracious and have both opened their festivities up to me. And my friend Nic and I are going to dinner on Christmas Eve and then I'm heading to a new friend Nicole's house.

It should be a good time...it should be nice. But it's not ideal. I'm extremely grateful that my friends have included me, and yet, there is a huge part of me that is struggling with the alone-ness of this Christmas. I think the thought of not having anyone around on Christmas Day is really starting to freak me out and this isn't how I want to spend Christmas. The independent part of me wants to be okay with spending Christmas away from my close friends and family...the reality is I'm having really big anxiety about this Christmas, which is making me not all that excited for it. I just hope I can get into the spirit by Friday.

Perhaps the greatest thing ever

I've been home sick today (really sick). And while I've enjoyed catching up on my TV from last week and watching the Food Network (getting inspiration for Christmas dinner), I came across this site.

Holy crap.

This might be my new obsession. You can create your own cookbook. YOUR OWN COOKBOOK!

I could spend hours creating my own cookbook.

I think I've finally decided what my Christmas present to myself will be...as well as my mother's birthday present.

a season of: rememberance

Over the next 29 days, I want to be intentional about this season. Remembering what it's all about, what the last year has brought, and other memories that come along the way.

The focus of this blog is about remembering. Specifically, remembering gifts. I think everyone remembers that one Christmas they got a gift they couldn't believe. Some of my most memorable gifts have included a car, my acceptance into the internship, a drill, and many others.

As I sat in church this morning (I know, I know), I remembered one of the greatest gifts my best friend has ever given me.

Tiffany gives me great gifts. Ones that are hilarious (the gnome pj's I got a couple of years ago after a bad break up), ones that are significant (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), but perhaps the greatest gifts she ever gave me was the time she asked to take communion with me.

I have no idea what happened around that day, but as she and I stood in line at New Community, she leaned over and asked if she could take it with me. Tears, of course, welled up in my eyes, and in that moment, I realized how much her friendship meant to me. Here we are, almost 9 years later, and I can't imagine my life without her.

Thankfully, I'll get to see her soon and simply catch up, but the best gift I've ever received from her was the gift of friendship.

these are a few of my favorite things...

Today is quite possibly one of the best days ever...

Here's why:

I love that it's the middle of December and it's 60 degrees in Denver.

I love that the Golden Globes were announced today and I saw it live (and think some people were robbed and some people got much needed nominations)

I love that I'm going to a concert tonight with my friend Sara and that it's within walking distance of my house and that it's one of my favorite bands.

I love that tomorrow afternoon I'm going on vacation with 8 fabulous people to the mountains to relax in the hot tub, ski down a mountain, and simply be with them...it's how a vacation should be.

I love that I'm going to KC in a week and can't wait to simply sleep in, have my mom do my laundry and see beautiful friends.

I love that my soul took a major change the other week and it changes the way I see people.

I love that I am a little less angry over the last year than I was a week ago.

I love that I no longer feel shame when a friend chooses out of relationship with me. I know I did nothing wrong (or I've owned what I did wrong)...if they choose to be childish and remove me without telling me, that's their issue not mine.

I love that I'm taking initiative in my life...knowing what I want and am willing to go after it.

Most of all, I'm grateful friendships, old and new, love, beauty and truth...because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth

and the soul felt its worth...

For some reason, this Christmas season is a little hard for me to get into. I don't know if it's the grieving from the last year that I am doing or if it's lack of space I am creating, but for me, I am not fully able to engage the holiday season this year. But, oh how I wish I could...

Today in the mail, I received the KBCO Holiday CD. A free holiday cd...I am shocked and amazed how this radio station sends me random cds that are amazing. On it contains my favorite Christmas song, O Holy Night...every version of it I love and this version, sung by The Fray, is amazing...for some reason, this song has helped me engage the season...I just hope it last for the next 2 weeks.

O holy night,
The stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of
Our dear Savior's birth!
Long lay the world
In sin and error pining,
Till He appeared
And the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope,
The weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks
A new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees,
O hear the angel voices!
O night divine,
O night when Christ was born!
O night divine, O night,
O night divine!

Led by the light of Faith
Serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts
By His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star
Sweetly gleaming,
Here came the wise men
From Orient land.
The King of Kings lay thus
In lowly manger,
In all our trials
Born to be our Friend!
He knows our need,
To our weakness no stranger;
Behold your King!
Before the lowly bend!
Behold your King! your King!
Before Him bend.

Truly He taught us
To love one another;
His law is love and
His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break
For the slave is our brother
And in His name
All oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in
Grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us
Praise His holy name!
Christ is the Lord,
Oh praise His name forever,
His pow'r and glory evermore proclaim
His pow'r and glory
Evermore proclaim.