Friday, October 16, 2009

289 days. 15 Hours. 46 minutes.

On December 31, I lost my job.

I lost what I considered to be my sense of who I was. I wasn't happy. I hadn't been happy at the job since I came back from Kenya. Something clicked there and I started realizing that not only was I unhappy, but my boss thought I was complete idiot and had no idea what I was doing.

So, I packed up my items and I left. I began what I thought would be a short jaunt. I thought to myself, this will be quick, I will get a job shortly. And then one month passed. I applied for job after job after job. (As a side note, I think I've applied for almost 300 jobs.)

I had a handful of interviews, some I really wanted, some weren't for me. I eventually came to the point where I was willing to settle. I would settle for anything. If it would pay me a decent amount, I would do it.

Last week, that changed. I applied for a position knowing it's something I can be good at, something that I want to do. I took a shot and applied, not knowing what would come of it. I had 2 really good interviews. My references gave me some of the best compliments in the world.

Today, I accepted a position as a Catering Sales Manager for a company here in Denver. I can't wait to start and the opportunity that is before me. I almost feel like I can't be inside my own skin because I am so excited.

And yet, I know one thing is for sure. These last 289 days were complete hell. I would never wish this upon my worst enemy. For every person who is in this position, I am sorry. I can't offer you the words you want to hear, but I do get it...and very few of us do.

There are a few people who have made these last 10 months possible. My parents, my dog, my friends who have gone above and beyond any expectation I would have imagined. Every phone call, every outing, every encouragement have made these days bearable. My parents have supported me in ways I couldn't believe. My friends have forced me out of my house, out of my depression, out of my clouds. Thank you to each one of you for all of your support over the last 289 days. I will forever be grateful.

Who knows what the future holds, but I've been waiting for this day for over 10 months. I am excited for the next goes nothing.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

An update on, well, life

Here's the thing about life, in case you forgot. Life never stops. People always want it to, in fact, I often wish life would stop just so I can catch up. But wishing life would stop prevents life from doing what it is called to do...move on. Making the hard decisions are never easy...that's why they call them hard decisions.

In a recent turn of events, after posting this, I actually got the courage to say the words aloud. That night as I tried to sleep, I couldn't believe how proud I was of myself. I finally put myself first and it felt great.

Which made me think of other areas I deserve to be first in. That means I've ramped up my job searching, taken some other strides personally, and have decided that right now, I'm number 1 in my book.

I've needed to do this for a while now. But the pressure of everything else has hindered my development. Hence, the wishing life would stop. But how can I move on if life is in a constant pause state? That doesn't mean I don't have down days. That doesn't mean I'm not overwhelmed by the situation I'm in and how I desperately wish it was different. But it's remembering to take the good with the bad, the in with the out and hopefully moving up in a better position.

Who would have thought, telling one person the words I've needed to say, would have pushed me so hard to be true to myself?