Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Haulin' ass out of town

I arrived in New Orleans on Thursday morning. Nicky drove me to the airport and had me laughing the entire way. I was able to tell him about my date (which I thought was successful, and hopefully, he'll call me back), he was able to give his theory on Bon Jovi's new song (it lures you in with the riff from "Livin' on a prayer, but then switches it up on you). Free tv and a 2 hour flight later, I arrived in New Orleans. The humidity hit me like a ton of bricks. We (my dad, brother and I) headed to the church to pick up a scripture that I was going to read during the funeral. We stopped, had a bowl of gumbo and then went back to the airport to pick up my uncle.

Friday morning was low key and the wake was Friday night. That wasn't the Grammy I knew. She had lost so much weight since the stroke...her hands were tightly clasped...it wasn't her...I sat there in wonder of what had happened, how everyone was reacting, and was extremely sad. Then my sister told this amazing story:

When my sister found out about my grandmother, she decided to take her two kids to her mother in law's so she could have some time to herself. When my niece asked what was wrong, my sister replied that she was going to miss Grammy. My niece paused and then said "well, mommy, I hear Grammy saying that she is going to miss you more." After having a few hours to herself, my sister and her friend went to pick up my niece and nephew and grab McDonalds for dinner. The kids wanted their toys and Julie (my sister's friend) pulled them out of the bag. Julie turned to Shelley and said you aren't going to believe this. The toy that night was a Pegasus, the symbol to the Mardi Gras carnival club my grandparents had founded almost 50 years ago.

After some tears and some hugs, we headed back to the hotel. Saturday morning, we arrived at the funeral home and went to the church. We buried my grandmother under the hot sun and then went to my aunt and uncle's house for lunch. It was there that we discovered how serious Katrina was going to be and we left to make decisions.

My brothers and nephew were going to leave bright and early on Sunday morning. I had a flight out Sunday afternoon, and my parents were going to leave on Sunday evening. The flights were canceled and the airport was closed about an hour after we arrived. So, what else could we do but join in with the 1 million people who were told to "haul ass out of New Orleans". My parents, who were born and raised in New Orleans had never seen anything like it. A 3 hour typical drive to Jackson took 7 and we arrived in Arkansas at 9:30 pm. We stopped, slept and got back on the road Monday morning. We got into Kansas City at 4 pm on Monday and I flew out at 6:15 pm. I finally got back to Denver and decided that I needed today to recover.

I'm currently sitting in my favorite coffee shop, enjoying a bagel, a latte and the "Garden State" soundtrack. It's what my souls needs. And this afternoon will be spent with Andy and that's what I need to. I need to be around someone who loves me deeply, who I love deeply, where everything is understood and where for the first time since I've been in Denver simply be loved upon in a way that I'm use to.

Otherwise, I'm just waiting to see what the week holds...and hopefully, I can get through some of the grieving that I need to.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Sunday, August 21, 2005

"Thanks for your ass"

Preface: The title of this blog is in reference to something Christie said over the weekend...I will not discuss it any further.

I realize I have been missing in action. It was unintentional, but good. I've switched jobs (yes, I'm still temping, and no, I haven't had any luck finding something permanent) and my fear at all my jobs is that they are watching my every move on the computer. There is enough of me not to care, but still some that is afraid that they will fire me. I spent some time at the most boring conference ever, left the oil & gas world and have moved into the world of banking. Where last week, I wore a dress with my jean jacket over it and my flip flops, thinking it was appropriate. I was wrong and was forced (by shame and shame alone) to go out to Target and buy shoes I already owned and take of my jean jacket. I didn't know that the business world was so strick.

My friend Christie came in town this weekend, which was amazing. Life currently is hard, making transitions, settling in, trying to figure out who is safe and it was just nice to have someone who understands me, knows me and loves me. We danced hard at Lip Gloss, laughed hard after Bender's, and have some great memories from her time here. I can't wait to see her again in October and then for our annual dinner in December. It's just nice to have someone who is so similar to me...it's scary at times.

Prior to this week, I was camping in Riffle State Park (3 hours west of Denver). It was my very first time ever camping, so I was a little hesitant. But once I got the hang of peeing in the woods, we had a great time. We hiked around the falls, ate amazing food, and almost went to the Riffle Fair. All I have to say is the idiot who claimed someone was thrashing near the road needs to get a life...You cannot have our spot.

Life is crazy and hard right now. I was shocked this week and tweaked all within a couple of days. I'm eating out of comfort and sleeping because that's what you do when you are depressed. I'm busy, lonely, and in need of training for my 5-k in October. Otherwise, I'm holding onto the only thing I can right now and that's the Trinity...but barely.

The Sunrise in Riffle
click to see photos from the camping trip.

Friday, August 05, 2005

This begins fall

I love fall...it's my favorite season. School supplies filling the shelves, new backpacks are being purchased, book orders are being placed...

But the ultimate indicator that fall is approaching is this. I'm ready, willing, and enthused about the fall season.

Let's go Cats! I have faith in you this season!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

two cuties from Chicago

This is my friend Seth...and his new puppy...aren't they both adorable! *sigh...

My inner-grandma is coming out

In my junior year of college, my good friend Kelly and I realized we were becoming grandmas. We went to bed early, I set a bed time for myself, she started to play bingo...it was all very sad for a 21 year old.

My friend Cari often speaks of her inner-grandma coming out, which is refreshing from time to time. I thought mine had begun to die, considering the last three years of my life (see any entry on Bethel) and my current life here in Denver. However, last night she reappeared out of no where.

My intentions since I began working was to go to bed and get an adequate amount of sleep (8 hours)...Unfortunately, that has never happened. 6-7 hours is what I have been getting. Last night though, I was tired after dinner with Vivian so I went home and watched the end of Sex and the City. At 9:30 pm, I went to bed. By 9:45, the light was off and I was drifting off to sleep. I was up by 6:30 this morning....9 hours! YES!!

So inner-grandma...thank you for getting my tail to bed...I needed it.

Monday, August 01, 2005

So, let me tell you about the last week I had

Perhaps starting at the end and working towards the beginning is the best way to start.

Sunday, we had a book reading with Nick. Wonderful book, wonderful discussion and air conditioning (something rare in Denver). Sunday night BBQ with the neighbors, bed.

Saturday, ran errands, got a pedicure/manicure, tried to go the Rockies game, ended up at the Public House, having a 3 hour discussion about guys and girls. Received a phone call from Emily that someone had broken the back window of my car. Nothing is stolen, but still, it sucks. I'm now out $160 bucks to fix someone's else poor decision. To whomever you are, I'm glad that you decided to get your shits and giggles on my car window. Way to go a-hole.

Friday, worked, had everyone over to bbq at my place as a house warming party, went to Gov's (a place I'm growing to love) and headed home. Nothing too exciting, except playing pool with some guy who was equally as bad as I was.

Thursday, exhausted because of what happened Wednesday night. Almost died twice (once by the free ride, once by choking over lunch) Retreat meeting and ice cream with two of my new favorite people, BAC and Luke. I now love Liks...it's the only place to get ice cream in Denver and I do truly believe their Jack Daniels Ice Cream could get you a DUI .

Wednesday night, went to bed with all the lights off, woke up at 1:15 am due to the fact that a light was now on. Began to hear weird noises, didn't go back to sleep at all.

Tuesday and Monday uneventful, but had I known what type of week I was going to have, it was probably a good thing that nothing happened.

So, yes, right now, I am taking off work. I've re-written my resume, I've applied to over 10 jobs this morning and I've got to get my window fixed this afternoon. Overall, I doubt this week could be any more stressful than last week, but who knows.

Otherwise, I'm doing decent. I'm sitting in Panera, getting ready to get some lunch and apply to more jobs. Nick and I had a talk about my grieving process, so I'm doing better there to. But my need for a job and a vacation is growing stronger....my need for escapism is truly something that should be investigated in my life.