It's turning out to be a good day

So, I went to the store today to pick up some stuff. You know, the basics...tortillas, milk, coffee. When I started to look for good coffee, something caught my eye. Oh that's right...for some reason King Soopers is selling DUNKIN' DONUTS coffee. That just rocks my world. If only it came with a Dunkin' Donuts donut, that would make this day the best!

And then I get home, to put away the groceries (I mean, I do live the most exciting life ever), take out the trash and get the mail. REI magazine, insurance bill, random letter from Bank of America. Which always scares me because they own my house and who knows what they are going to claim.

Oh that's right. I just got a random ass check that's completely legit. Who doesn't love random money?!

So, not only did I get the best coffee either, I'm now rich. Maybe tomorrow I'll met some hot guy that wants to ask me out.

Well, I can dream, can't I?

On Becoming a Domestic Goddess

In my previous life, I would spend Saturdays lounging around, getting coffee, doing nothing...however after purchasing the house, things have changed.

This Saturday proves this point. On my list of things to do, laundry, go to Home Depot, clean the top level of my house, watch the new sofa be delivered and maybe go to the grocery store.

I think the most surprising thing on that list is going to Home Depot. I have to buy pots and soil to replant some housewarming gifts. I've never had a green thumb, I once killed a plastic plant. So having four living things in my house and I feel like I'm neglecting them. Oh, and I need hedge clippers because supposedly I have a couple of rose bushes on my back porch. It all feels a little daunting to me.

So, I'm off to the Depot. I'm hoping I can navigate my way around the store. I have a strong suspicion that the Depot is like a drug, you can't just get away once.

1 night in...

and the beauty of it is that I slept like a rock last night. Especially since I haven't slept well for over a week and a half.

To feel the comfort to sleep so well, where there aren't crazy homeless men outside my window, sirens constantly going off and to just feel the comfort of my own bed...that is love.

I guess this day has been in the making for years...

As an 11 year old, I (well, my parents and I) made the decision to not be a maid in Mardi Gras. Taking off weeks at a time for school just didn't seem like fun. So, we took my money that I had received from my grandparents and invested it.

And it sat...

And it sat...

When I moved to Chicago, I considered buying something, but didn't...buying something for 3 years didn't make sense to me.

And then I moved here. Here where expectations were blown out of the water, where I couldn't find a place to belong, thought it was me, realized it wasn't. Here where I've discovered how strong I could be, and ultimately a place where I can call it home. Despite all that happened here, all the pain, I have found joy.

And on the eve of my move, I am realizing how overwhelmed I feel. Boxes still need to be packed. Things need to be cleaned. Life needs to slow down...

I'm ready, I keep telling myself that. I'm ready for this day, for tomorrow, and I'm ready to be done. To feel the carpet underneath my feet and know it's mine. To paint a wall one day and change it the next.

To be away from a neighborhood filled with so many bad memories.

So, here I go...a commitment that I can't believe I'm taking and fall head first into the deep unknown of being a home owner...

And while tomorrow I'll be moving, Sunday holds the day of simply being in my new home...and realizing it's all mine...

I apologize for the language

OH MY GOD...

I fucking own a house...


This might be the weirdest day ever...

Why stress just might kill me...

Sometimes I wonder if I take on too much at once...I've never been someone with killer patience. I often want to do more than I can.

Case and point...

Buying a townhouse....Last night, as I sat around with my beautiful friends, we realized what this opportunity means for all of us. A space for us to grow into, where we can be comfortable and relaxed with each other. And what it means for me...it's going to be an amazing opportunity.

Moving up in my career...beautiful and dangerous at the same time. Having people recognize what I am capable of is always a good thing...changing positions, probably not ideal in the midst of everything.

Kenya...I'm nervous about making my fundraising goals. I shouldn't be, I know that the trip is suppose to happen and I'm suppose to be on it. I feel it in my gut, but what if? What if I can't do it? What if I can't find the money? Maybe it's a bad idea...(I know it's not, but this is a thought that is running through my head).


Anyways, I'm hoping my attitude changes before New Orleans because I want to enjoy my time...but I'm also hoping that stress isn't real and that everything will eventually come together. Until then, I think I'll go get some coldstone.

29 more days

Don't worry, I'll get tired of the following too, but for right now, it's true....

29 days till I get to run the dishwasher and my dishes are done

29 days till I get to run my own washer and dryer and my clothes are done

29 days till I no longer wonder how far away I'll have to park away form my house on cold, snowy, wet days

29 days till I have so much room that I don't know what to do

29 more days until I have some freedom...

I stop and feel my feet on the floor

This month, might be a crazy one.

There is so much going on that I'm having to remember that my feet are on the floor.

Case and point, I'm moving in 30 days. Which is always a good and bad thing. Moving causes me to stress out, clean out, do things I need to do. And I'm so ready to be done with my neighborhood...it's hard walking down the street with the constant fear of running into someone who has ill feelings towards you.

Oh, and there are work things I can't talk about yet.

And I'm going to Mardi Gras next weekend, which again is both a fun and stressful event. I hoping it will be more fun than anything.

and I'm still trying to raise money for Kenya.

And it's f-ing cold and snowing again in Denver.

So as I remember that my feet are on the floor, and that this is the delightful terror that I know will push me closer to the Trinity, it's my hope that I don't get overwhelmed and not remember where I am going or how I got there.