Friday, September 21, 2007

good bye to you

Today, I realized that I needed to stop reading someone’s blog. Not because of something mean or hurtful they have said it in, but it feels to me like reading someone’s life that I have no idea about.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll read this blog or this one. And even if I don’t know them, I don’t feel like we’ve ever had a relationship or that it ended one day because they chose one path and I chose another.

The fact of the matter is that at one point, I did have a friendship with this person. And the day it ended comes to mind every now and then. I remember it as if it was yesterday…when I was replaced by someone else in their life. And today, as I read through their blog, I realized I have no idea what is going on in their life, and frankly, I don’t if I want to know.

By reading their blog, I’m just continuing self-masochist ways. Causing pain to myself because I feel like I can continue to be a part of their life by reading what’s going on through a blog.
Not through coffee or a drink, but through their blog. Let’s be real, that’s no way to "know" someone….it’s not even intimate.

So until I feel like I can safely distant myself from their blog and not wonder why all of the sudden we are no longer friends, I need to go on a fast. Maybe that’s the only way I can heal from this friendship ending unexpectedly.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Megs-
I get it - you know I do. I think we are sometimes torturing ourselves with information when we are a voyeur to someone's life when they are not actually speaking to us.
It somehow keeps something alive inside of us that should probably be allowed to die - no matter how painful it is.
It is not easy to go cold turkey - but I think it is a wise decision on your part.