To do then now would be retro. To do then then was very now-tro, if you will

The last two nights, A Mighty Wind has been on Comdey Central (god, I love having "real" cable). I've loved watching one of my favorite movies on cable and hearing some of the best lines ever.

I decided that I would get one of those lines from IMDB and then I found something very interesting...


So, after doing some investigation, I found out that this is in production and I cannot wait...maybe I'll get around to finally watching "Waiting for Guffman" by the time this comes out.

Thank you Christopher Guest for being so freakin' funny...It's awesome!

I KNOW!

Yesterday was a pretty good day. Work is slowly coming together, the weather was decent (I'm beginning to believe that Denver is as close to perfect weather wise as a place can get) and then there was the evening.

Jim, Maria and I knew we wanted to see Wicked, but 1) it was sold out and B) Maria couldn't join us. So Jim stood in line for the Wicked lottery. They only hand out 24 tickets each night. These aren't the best seats in the house, but it's the opportunity to see the show. I arrived downtown, and found parking in a lot right away, but the stupid thing wouldn't print my receipt and I was worried about being towed. I called a number, the random Australian I met called a number and I was assured that I wouldn't be towed.

Right as I walked up, Jim was adding his name to the lottery, so I was able to put mine in as well. We stood around for about 20 minutes and then the lottery started. They call your name, they verify your id and then you pay. They did this 10 times (and one group of people won twice...bastards). Then they called Jim's name! I KNOW! So, I went to Chili's, he went home and changed and we were able to see my favorite musical (sort of...we were in the very first row of the theater, on the corner, so they weren't the best seats in the house, but I had seen it before and it was so good for my soul...I needed this night). I know Craig (the wonderful Mr. Joseph) doesn't like it, but I'm willing to stake my ground in how much I love that show.

In other news, there was a "dance-off" in Wichita in which two people were arrested and someone needed stitches. I haven't laughed that hard at the news in a while.

If you are bored on Monday nights, perhaps you should watch the best show on TV (Scrubs is off the air right now, so yes, this is the best show out there).

Okay, I should get back to work...

MIA No longer

Who would have guessed that working a full time job, Radius, and life in general would one day get in the way of me posting every single day? Not that I'm blaming anyone...at least I'm not as MIA as this person (who, I'm getting ready to send out smoke signals because I'm so worried).

Anyways, let me do a quick overview on my last couple of week:
1. I'm on football overload. I know that must mean something but after last Saturday of watching K-State vs. Marshall, Norte Dame vs. Michigan, Iowa vs Iowa State, and Texas vs Ohio State in one sitting....I'm overwhelmed. Lots of good laughs and even better food, but no more...not at least until next week.

2. I'm in the process of making my job permanent. It keeps me on my toes, doesn't drain me and I sought lots of wise counsel on making it happen...2 weeks vacation and benefits...FINALLY.

3. My beautiful best friend had a beautiful baby girl, a much welcomed addition to her beautiful family....I love them all and can't wait to see them!





4. Making a town home requires me finding a radio station...I've found an awesome one that comes from Boulder. Thank you KBCO for hleping me transition into making Denver home.

Otherwise, we are getting for the retreat in October, I'm looking into becoming a doula(something I've wanted to do since college) and since I had that one really decent first date right before my grandmother passed, I want to go on another...

I know it's short, but hopefully more tomorrow, I've got to get to the bank before BA drops off my "new" chair.

PS-
Since Nicky enjoyed being in the blog last time I mentioned him, I'd like to contest to his comment that because someone didn't like Wedding Crashers that they don't have a soul. I still hold this position...you can argue with me all you want, but it's true.

Please help

Picture courtesy of www.nola.com

Many of you have asked about my family in New Orleans. Thankfully they are okay. They escaped to Houston, Dallas, and Lafayette and are safe and sound. However, we see the devastation that has happened to so many people. If you feel like donating, Habitat for Humanity is helping and you can click here to help them.

This by far is one of the saddest things I have ever seen, simply because I call New Orleans part of my home. Please help, please keep them in your thoughts and prayers...

Haulin' ass out of town

I arrived in New Orleans on Thursday morning. Nicky drove me to the airport and had me laughing the entire way. I was able to tell him about my date (which I thought was successful, and hopefully, he'll call me back), he was able to give his theory on Bon Jovi's new song (it lures you in with the riff from "Livin' on a prayer, but then switches it up on you). Free tv and a 2 hour flight later, I arrived in New Orleans. The humidity hit me like a ton of bricks. We (my dad, brother and I) headed to the church to pick up a scripture that I was going to read during the funeral. We stopped, had a bowl of gumbo and then went back to the airport to pick up my uncle.

Friday morning was low key and the wake was Friday night. That wasn't the Grammy I knew. She had lost so much weight since the stroke...her hands were tightly clasped...it wasn't her...I sat there in wonder of what had happened, how everyone was reacting, and was extremely sad. Then my sister told this amazing story:

When my sister found out about my grandmother, she decided to take her two kids to her mother in law's so she could have some time to herself. When my niece asked what was wrong, my sister replied that she was going to miss Grammy. My niece paused and then said "well, mommy, I hear Grammy saying that she is going to miss you more." After having a few hours to herself, my sister and her friend went to pick up my niece and nephew and grab McDonalds for dinner. The kids wanted their toys and Julie (my sister's friend) pulled them out of the bag. Julie turned to Shelley and said you aren't going to believe this. The toy that night was a Pegasus, the symbol to the Mardi Gras carnival club my grandparents had founded almost 50 years ago.

After some tears and some hugs, we headed back to the hotel. Saturday morning, we arrived at the funeral home and went to the church. We buried my grandmother under the hot sun and then went to my aunt and uncle's house for lunch. It was there that we discovered how serious Katrina was going to be and we left to make decisions.

My brothers and nephew were going to leave bright and early on Sunday morning. I had a flight out Sunday afternoon, and my parents were going to leave on Sunday evening. The flights were canceled and the airport was closed about an hour after we arrived. So, what else could we do but join in with the 1 million people who were told to "haul ass out of New Orleans". My parents, who were born and raised in New Orleans had never seen anything like it. A 3 hour typical drive to Jackson took 7 and we arrived in Arkansas at 9:30 pm. We stopped, slept and got back on the road Monday morning. We got into Kansas City at 4 pm on Monday and I flew out at 6:15 pm. I finally got back to Denver and decided that I needed today to recover.

I'm currently sitting in my favorite coffee shop, enjoying a bagel, a latte and the "Garden State" soundtrack. It's what my souls needs. And this afternoon will be spent with Andy and that's what I need to. I need to be around someone who loves me deeply, who I love deeply, where everything is understood and where for the first time since I've been in Denver simply be loved upon in a way that I'm use to.

Otherwise, I'm just waiting to see what the week holds...and hopefully, I can get through some of the grieving that I need to.

to my Grammy

Edwina Gallinghouse Smith

March 16, 1922 - August 23, 2005

with much love,

meggie

"Thanks for your ass"

Preface: The title of this blog is in reference to something Christie said over the weekend...I will not discuss it any further.

I realize I have been missing in action. It was unintentional, but good. I've switched jobs (yes, I'm still temping, and no, I haven't had any luck finding something permanent) and my fear at all my jobs is that they are watching my every move on the computer. There is enough of me not to care, but still some that is afraid that they will fire me. I spent some time at the most boring conference ever, left the oil & gas world and have moved into the world of banking. Where last week, I wore a dress with my jean jacket over it and my flip flops, thinking it was appropriate. I was wrong and was forced (by shame and shame alone) to go out to Target and buy shoes I already owned and take of my jean jacket. I didn't know that the business world was so strick.

My friend Christie came in town this weekend, which was amazing. Life currently is hard, making transitions, settling in, trying to figure out who is safe and it was just nice to have someone who understands me, knows me and loves me. We danced hard at Lip Gloss, laughed hard after Bender's, and have some great memories from her time here. I can't wait to see her again in October and then for our annual dinner in December. It's just nice to have someone who is so similar to me...it's scary at times.

Prior to this week, I was camping in Riffle State Park (3 hours west of Denver). It was my very first time ever camping, so I was a little hesitant. But once I got the hang of peeing in the woods, we had a great time. We hiked around the falls, ate amazing food, and almost went to the Riffle Fair. All I have to say is the idiot who claimed someone was thrashing near the road needs to get a life...You cannot have our spot.

Life is crazy and hard right now. I was shocked this week and tweaked all within a couple of days. I'm eating out of comfort and sleeping because that's what you do when you are depressed. I'm busy, lonely, and in need of training for my 5-k in October. Otherwise, I'm holding onto the only thing I can right now and that's the Trinity...but barely.

click to see photos from the camping trip.

This begins fall

I love fall...it's my favorite season. School supplies filling the shelves, new backpacks are being purchased, book orders are being placed...

But the ultimate indicator that fall is approaching is this. I'm ready, willing, and enthused about the fall season.

Let's go Cats! I have faith in you this season!

two cuties from Chicago

This is my friend Seth...and his new puppy...aren't they both adorable! *sigh...

My inner-grandma is coming out

In my junior year of college, my good friend Kelly and I realized we were becoming grandmas. We went to bed early, I set a bed time for myself, she started to play bingo...it was all very sad for a 21 year old.

My friend Cari often speaks of her inner-grandma coming out, which is refreshing from time to time. I thought mine had begun to die, considering the last three years of my life (see any entry on Bethel) and my current life here in Denver. However, last night she reappeared out of no where.

My intentions since I began working was to go to bed and get an adequate amount of sleep (8 hours)...Unfortunately, that has never happened. 6-7 hours is what I have been getting. Last night though, I was tired after dinner with Vivian so I went home and watched the end of Sex and the City. At 9:30 pm, I went to bed. By 9:45, the light was off and I was drifting off to sleep. I was up by 6:30 this morning....9 hours! YES!!

So inner-grandma...thank you for getting my tail to bed...I needed it.

So, let me tell you about the last week I had

Perhaps starting at the end and working towards the beginning is the best way to start.

Sunday, we had a book reading with Nick. Wonderful book, wonderful discussion and air conditioning (something rare in Denver). Sunday night BBQ with the neighbors, bed.

Saturday, ran errands, got a pedicure/manicure, tried to go the Rockies game, ended up at the Public House, having a 3 hour discussion about guys and girls. Received a phone call from Emily that someone had broken the back window of my car. Nothing is stolen, but still, it sucks. I'm now out $160 bucks to fix someone's else poor decision. To whomever you are, I'm glad that you decided to get your shits and giggles on my car window. Way to go a-hole.

Friday, worked, had everyone over to bbq at my place as a house warming party, went to Gov's (a place I'm growing to love) and headed home. Nothing too exciting, except playing pool with some guy who was equally as bad as I was.

Thursday, exhausted because of what happened Wednesday night. Almost died twice (once by the free ride, once by choking over lunch) Retreat meeting and ice cream with two of my new favorite people, BAC and Luke. I now love Liks...it's the only place to get ice cream in Denver and I do truly believe their Jack Daniels Ice Cream could get you a DUI .

Wednesday night, went to bed with all the lights off, woke up at 1:15 am due to the fact that a light was now on. Began to hear weird noises, didn't go back to sleep at all.

Tuesday and Monday uneventful, but had I known what type of week I was going to have, it was probably a good thing that nothing happened.

So, yes, right now, I am taking off work. I've re-written my resume, I've applied to over 10 jobs this morning and I've got to get my window fixed this afternoon. Overall, I doubt this week could be any more stressful than last week, but who knows.

Otherwise, I'm doing decent. I'm sitting in Panera, getting ready to get some lunch and apply to more jobs. Nick and I had a talk about my grieving process, so I'm doing better there to. But my need for a job and a vacation is growing stronger....my need for escapism is truly something that should be investigated in my life.

Being the fanatic that I am

I was reading on yahoo news this article. I know that only Cari could appreciate this news, but still...

Come to think of it, Cari might be the only person who could toe to toe with me in this game. BRING IT ON SISTER!!

Prepare for the world's best showdown of "Friends" minds.

God, I need a life.

By Henri Nouwen...the genius he is

When you "love" someone or "miss" someone, you experience an inner pain. Bit by bit you have to discover the nature of this pain. When your deepest self is connected with the deepest self of another, that person's absence may be painful, but it will lead you to a profound communion with the person, because loving each other is loving in God. When the place where God dwells in you is intimately connected with the place where God dwells in the other, the absence of the other person is not destructive. On the contrary, it will challenge you to enter more deeply into communion with God, the source of all unity and communion among people.

It is also possible on the other hand that the pain of absence will show you that you are out of touch with your own deeper self. You need the other to experience inner wholeness, to have a sense of well being. You have become emotionally dependent on the other and sink into depression because of his or her absence. It feels as if the other has taken away a part of you that you cannot live without. Then the pain of absence reveals a certain lack of trust in God's love. But God is enough for you.

True love between two human beings puts you more in touch with your deepest self. It is a love in God. The pain you experience form the death or absence of the person you love, then, always calls you to a deeper knowledge of God's love. God's love is all the love you need, and it reveals to you the love of God in the other. So the God in you can speak to the God in the other. This is deep speaking to deep, mutuality in the heart of God, who embraces both of you.

Death or absence does not end or even diminish the love of God that brought you to the other person. It calls you to take a new step into the mystery of God’s inexhaustible love. This process is painful, very painful, because the other person has become a true revelation of God's love for you. But the more you are stripped of the God-given support of people, the more you are called to love God for God's sake. This is an awesome and even dreadful love, but it the love that offers eternal life.

thoughts from the past week

I'm on borrowed time with my battery, so I don't have much time to post, but here's an update from the last week:

I became an adult
I realized this while I was setting up my coffee pot for the next morning and realized that the fact that I was willing to do this wasn't me planning ahead, it was the fact that I have moved into a new world, and I don't know if I like it.

My celebrity boyfriend was nominated for an Emmy
I couldn't be any prouder of this boy. Now, only if he would ask me to go with him...that would be heavenly.

I saw "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"
As I told a friend, it does justice to the first one, and only Johnny Depp and Tim Burton could have pulled it off

I'm getting cable
I don't know how many more times I could have watched "Friends" before I went crazy. TLC here I come!

I've been asked to stay with my current temp job for the next week
Hence the fact that I am getting cable, but I'm also hoping to interview with another possible job this week.



I'm needing some time to myself this week...time to reconnect with my soul...we feel distant from each other right now and I desperately want to connect with the Trinity. I just need to schedule it.

it's been one hell of a year.

One year ago, I started this crazy little blog. I had no idea what I would be getting myself into when I started this. I thought it would be a place where people who had supported me over the last three years could connect with my life. I thought it could be a place where I could vent, be creative, and simply lay out some of my desires. Do I think that's what happened? Sure, sort of. In fact, I think I've gone above and beyond where I could have been. I've gotten creative with my template. I've posted some pictures (I still want to become a flickr pro), I've posted some of the songs that are changing my life.

You should take some time...start at the beginning and see the progress I've made. And leave a comment...any comment. Give me suggestions of where you like me to go, what I should write about, pictures I need to post...

Until then...happy anniversary me!

Money, money, money...

While I'm not enjoying the job I currently have to it's fullest, the beauty of it is that for the first time in 7 years, I have a steady flow of money coming in. Not just like some money for the month, but you know on a weekly basis. So, I'm beginning to dream. What do I want? How could I treat myself...Extravagantly.

Here are some of my ideas thus far:
-a new bed (I'd like to move up to at least a full, if not a queen)
-if I get a new bed, new bedding is in order, but I'm hoping my sister would make me a duvet cover, shams, and a dust ruffle
-a new laptop (I'm eyeing the Apple Powerbook, 12 inch)
-a North Face jacket
-Chacos
-a bike (bicycle, not a motorcycle)
-a big comfy chair
-a trip...a true vacation, to Europe, for like 10-14 days.
-a really nice digital camera

Granted, I have things I need to save for. You know, paying off student loans is very important and necessary. But right now I want to treat myself.

"I think nipples without boobs would be pointless"

I spent my 4th at the park, playing a mean game of ultimate followed by "half of a cow" steak cooked by Jeff and Nick. As we were standing in the park, Tsinia said the quote above and couldn't resist putting in my blog. The other conversation that made me laugh was with Wendy. It went a little like this:

m-"I didn't think you could solicit in the park"
w-"Is someone selling drugs?"
m-"no..."
w-"so why are you talking about prostitution?"
m-"I was talking about the man selling cotton candy, but what in the world were you thinking about?"

We left the park to shower and then went to watch the fireworks near REI (FREE parking). I got home around 11 pm and decided that I needed to head to bed.

I started a new job yesterday and I'm not really enjoying it. I'd rather be doing anything else but this. Emily keeps reminding me that you can do anything for a month, but I don't know if that's true. My friend Bri sent me a good site for jobs and there is one in leadership and helping women in leadership...perhaps that is the one.

I talked to Craig on the phone last night on the phone....all I can say is that I miss that kid...A LOT.

We are celebrating Mark's birthday on Saturday at the Painted Bench and I'm really excited. I'm hanging out with Maria tonight, Beth tomorrow, and have no idea what I am doing on Friday.

I'm just realizing how hard it is to post on a regular basis when you actually have to work a "real" job.

My latest repeat song...

Due to circumstances beyond my control (and the fact that I am exhausted from being at the water park all day long...I know my life is hard), this is the song that is on repeat right now on my iPod...

A warning sign
I missed the good part then
I realized I started looking and the bubble burst
I started looking for excuses
Come on in, I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones
That I started looking for a warning sign
When the truth is
I miss you
Yeah the truth is
That I miss you so
A warning sign
You came back to haunt me and realized
That you were an island and I passed you by
And you were an island to discover
Come on in, I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones
That I started looking for a warning sign
And the truth is
I miss you
Yeah the truth is that I miss you so
And I'm tired
I should not have let you go
So I crawl back into your open arms
Yes I crawl back into your open arms
And I crawl back into your open arms
Yes I crawl back into your open arms.

I'm really excited this...

Last night Emily, Emily's friend Chad and I went to see Bewitched. Skip it...it's not necessary. Anyways, I saw a preview last night for a movie I'm super excited about. Please go and see the trailer. Yes, I know they cast most of the original cast (which are 10 years too old to play the parts) but I cannot wait to see it. I had chills the entire time watching it. It's going to be awesome!!

I'm currently working so I can't post much, but I'm doing decent. I'll hopefully be able to post soon (like tomorrow) but until then, I'm done with my first temp job and I'm still really excited about the job at DU...I'm calling them tomorrow to see if I can move it forward a little bit. Otherwise, I don't know what my plans are for the 4th (no Taste for me this year) and I'm really enjoy the second season on DVD of this show.

By the way, my web fortune cookie told me to remember 4th grade today...seriously, that's not a fortune. COME ON!

Remember why you are here

This is what my web fortune cookie told me today.

It couldn't be more appropriate for me to hear right now.

Things are going. Not extremely bad, nor are they out of the world, but they are going.

There are times when I am confused, times when I am scared, times when I realize what I am doing and need to stop. Shame is not as prevalent in my life as it once was, but there are moments when I am staring into the distance and Jared knows what I am thinking and what I need to hear in those moments.

I worked three days 9-6 and thought I was going to die. I applied for two jobs at the university of Denver today...I really want one of them.

So...Why am I here?

To grow

To be transformed

To be around a community of people who love me

To understand that my community in Chicago, Kansas City and around the world doesn't end because I have moved.

To simply just be.

To learn from the mistakes I make.

To make new mistakes and realize the growth I do have.

To reconnect with parts of my soul

And to find new parts as well.

But, there are times when I am lonely, scared, confused, happy, joyful and bewildered all at the same time.

And I have nothing to cling to but the Trinity, and that is making the world of difference.