It Thanksgiving Eve and I have the house to myself. I've got music on, my phone near and just enjoying the house.
It's not that I don't have the house to myself often (in fact I do), but it still doesn't feel like a home. Does that make sense? All of my places in college felt like a home, and even the little place I had here my first year was home, but this still doesn't feel like it. Don't get me wrong...I love living with my roommate. She's fun and fantastic, but there are times when it is hard.
I'm ready to move. I'm ready to have a place to myself, where I decide the decorating that happens and I'm ready to be in charge. I'm ready to be in charge in my head, financially right now, I couldn't do it if my life depended on it. But that's a different story.
I'm ready for a new location. I'm ready for a change of scenery. My friend Viv and I were talking the other day and she was mentioning about how she changed everything in her life 4 years ago and she just isn't ready to change everything quite yet. I'm the exact opposite. For me, I'm use to moving every 3 years, so this feels natural to want to change.
In the past, I have been questioned about my longevity with a church/house/ministry. About every 3 years I get the itch to move, to change, to do something different. Granted Kansas City is the longest I have ever called a place home, but even in KC, I changed stuff around. BVN and LMS were the only places I stayed for a long time. I switched churches, from Colonial to Heartland in a span of 3 years. I switched part time jobs, Nill Brothers, Gap, Wal-Mart pharmacy, Houlihan's. Two lasted a year and a half, two lasted 3 months. I'm realizing that this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I don't know if I'll ever call a place home because I'm use to moving so much.
I realize I'm babbling, but isn't that what the blog is for?
Someone asked me recently what I wanted my last 6 months to be marked by. I told him that there were things I still needed to learn, about myself, about leadership, about ministry. I told him that I wasn't hesitant about going further on the transformational journey, which is a new feeling. And I told him what I really wanted my last 199 days to be marked as investing in friendships.
For example, Kristen. I feel like I've known Kristen the entire 3 years I have been here, but it has only been recently that I have gotten to know Kristen. I have felt like she and I could be soul mates...but we are still getting to know each other. I love spending time with her; she makes me laugh, she wants to fall more in love with Jesus and yet she still understands that we shouldn't live the closed off life. I feel like our friendship really took off on July 4 this year when we went to the city to see the Counting Crows and we both love that band. It was an amazing night and I can't wait to get to know her better over the next 6 months.
And of course there is Craig. We really do have a sibling relationship with each other and for a while we didn't hang out much because we both were in the midst of transitions, but I feel like there is an opportunity for us to become better friends. There are times when I'm sure like any sibling relationship we need space for each other (especially since he is on this kick where he believes he is an I on the Myers-Briggs Personality Test and I'm an off the chart E) but I really do enjoy having him in my life.
And then there is Toni. She and I have met through Axis (I tend to meet people there) and we clicked right away. We tend to do lunch once a month at Chili's (a staple restaurant for those of us who work at Willow) and yet I feel like she and I could continue to be friends after I leave. I really want to get to know her better and see what happens in 199 days.
Of course though, I want to continue in my friendships with Viv, Cookie, Sara, Nicky, and my boys (Scotty, APes, Chick, Tobs, Tobs, Potter). My life wouldn't be the same without these people.
It's weird to be spending a major holiday without my family, without being in KC. If it hadn't snowed today, I'd be tempted to drive home. But I'm excited to be here, celebrating it with the Millers and enjoying the house to myself.
All this was said in order for me to say HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING. There is a lot to be thankful for this year. Make a list of all the things you are grateful for that has happened today, this week, this month, this year. It will draw you closer to the heart of God, which is where I believe transformation can really begin to happen.