Monday, November 13, 2006

Everybody likes to go their own way--to choose their own time and manner of devotion. -- Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

I was struck by something tonight...something that has been in the works for over 3 months, but it struck me like a ton of bricks.

The life I lead now looks completely different from the life I lead one year ago... A majority of the friends I had a year ago have discarded me like a song you play too many times. I was stuck in a job that felt crushing, too easy, and had a lack of purpose. I was desperate for anyone to recognize me outside (and inside) of the community I had come so far to be a part of.

There are questions I'm dying to answer to...what happened? At what point did I become the person that people hated the most? At what point did my job change and at what point did I open myself up to some great friends that I had missed?

And while my life looks drastically different, here's what I know now to be true.

I chose out and by choosing out, I now have beautiful friends, who ask great questions, who push me closer to the Trinity in ways I haven't experienced in a year. I actually enjoy my job most of the time. I have found a place where my opinion matters, where I have earned the nickname the hammer, and where my superiors want to know what I think. I actually enjoy the people I work with, who have become friends outside of 8-5, Monday through Friday.

I am leading a wonderful life...and as much confusion I have over the last year of my life, I am grateful for it because it has opened my eyes to things I know now to be true, about me, about my life, about grace, about truth, and above

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