Thursday, April 27, 2006

Hope...

Dictionary.com defines it as "To wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment." Another definition is "to expect and desire".

What I know to be true is that I can only get through today if I have some hope.

As I sat across from a friend last night, and cried over their pain, it was obvious that they had very little hope left. And I gave them full permission to use some of mine. Borrow from me, I told them.

And then I realized something deep about myself.

I have hope for everyone I know. I have hope that they will become more fully themselves that the Trinity created. I have hope that their lives will be transformed and that they will become more alive.

I have hope for Radius. That it will become a church that will change the world. That it will be a community I love and can be authentic with and eventually will change me. That we will be something unstoppable.

I have hope for Denver. That this city will be home to people, that the crack that is sold outside of my door will stop and that it will be a place that people dream of living in one day. I have hope that the government will make wise choices for the people that live here.

I have hope for the world (I know that saying has been abused by some, but I'm being serious here). That people will know the truth and the truth will set them free. I have hope that people will be more loving, more giving, more honest. That we will be able to live in love and freedom for all.

Here's the kicker...I don't have much hope for myself. There are moments when I don't believe I deserve the best. When I don't believe in myself, when I lie to myself that everything is fine and okay, I have no hope for me. It's harder for me to have hope for myself than for everyone and everything else around me. Perhaps it was rooted in high school when I learned about humility for the first time, or perhaps earlier, but this for some reason appears to be a bigger problem. Because right now, I feel a little hopeless for myself.

So for my friend, I will hope all the best for you if in return you'll have a little hope for me.

3 comments:

Kristenanne said...

You can have some of mine...Here...I gift it to you like my dad would gift me shares in his company or something. Or like tennis balls in the mail kind of gift. I pray you receive, as they used to say in my old old church, "an extra helping today!"
Love you.
Miss you.

Maria said...

honey - i hope for you. i hope for you all the time. there is so much good in you and ahead of you and i can't wait to see it all.

here's to hope...and here's to stealing it from others

Ms. Warren said...

How about instead of "I hope" for you, "I know" for you that God and just life have so many wonderful experiences for you.

And if I could, I would take the lil' hope that's in my pocket put it in a bottle and send it to you!

(smiley face)