Being the fanatic that I am

I was reading on yahoo news this article. I know that only Cari could appreciate this news, but still...

Come to think of it, Cari might be the only person who could toe to toe with me in this game. BRING IT ON SISTER!!

Prepare for the world's best showdown of "Friends" minds.

God, I need a life.

By Henri Nouwen...the genius he is

When you "love" someone or "miss" someone, you experience an inner pain. Bit by bit you have to discover the nature of this pain. When your deepest self is connected with the deepest self of another, that person's absence may be painful, but it will lead you to a profound communion with the person, because loving each other is loving in God. When the place where God dwells in you is intimately connected with the place where God dwells in the other, the absence of the other person is not destructive. On the contrary, it will challenge you to enter more deeply into communion with God, the source of all unity and communion among people.

It is also possible on the other hand that the pain of absence will show you that you are out of touch with your own deeper self. You need the other to experience inner wholeness, to have a sense of well being. You have become emotionally dependent on the other and sink into depression because of his or her absence. It feels as if the other has taken away a part of you that you cannot live without. Then the pain of absence reveals a certain lack of trust in God's love. But God is enough for you.

True love between two human beings puts you more in touch with your deepest self. It is a love in God. The pain you experience form the death or absence of the person you love, then, always calls you to a deeper knowledge of God's love. God's love is all the love you need, and it reveals to you the love of God in the other. So the God in you can speak to the God in the other. This is deep speaking to deep, mutuality in the heart of God, who embraces both of you.

Death or absence does not end or even diminish the love of God that brought you to the other person. It calls you to take a new step into the mystery of God’s inexhaustible love. This process is painful, very painful, because the other person has become a true revelation of God's love for you. But the more you are stripped of the God-given support of people, the more you are called to love God for God's sake. This is an awesome and even dreadful love, but it the love that offers eternal life.

thoughts from the past week

I'm on borrowed time with my battery, so I don't have much time to post, but here's an update from the last week:

I became an adult
I realized this while I was setting up my coffee pot for the next morning and realized that the fact that I was willing to do this wasn't me planning ahead, it was the fact that I have moved into a new world, and I don't know if I like it.

My celebrity boyfriend was nominated for an Emmy
I couldn't be any prouder of this boy. Now, only if he would ask me to go with him...that would be heavenly.

I saw "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"
As I told a friend, it does justice to the first one, and only Johnny Depp and Tim Burton could have pulled it off

I'm getting cable
I don't know how many more times I could have watched "Friends" before I went crazy. TLC here I come!

I've been asked to stay with my current temp job for the next week
Hence the fact that I am getting cable, but I'm also hoping to interview with another possible job this week.



I'm needing some time to myself this week...time to reconnect with my soul...we feel distant from each other right now and I desperately want to connect with the Trinity. I just need to schedule it.

it's been one hell of a year.

One year ago, I started this crazy little blog. I had no idea what I would be getting myself into when I started this. I thought it would be a place where people who had supported me over the last three years could connect with my life. I thought it could be a place where I could vent, be creative, and simply lay out some of my desires. Do I think that's what happened? Sure, sort of. In fact, I think I've gone above and beyond where I could have been. I've gotten creative with my template. I've posted some pictures (I still want to become a flickr pro), I've posted some of the songs that are changing my life.

You should take some time...start at the beginning and see the progress I've made. And leave a comment...any comment. Give me suggestions of where you like me to go, what I should write about, pictures I need to post...

Until then...happy anniversary me!

Money, money, money...

While I'm not enjoying the job I currently have to it's fullest, the beauty of it is that for the first time in 7 years, I have a steady flow of money coming in. Not just like some money for the month, but you know on a weekly basis. So, I'm beginning to dream. What do I want? How could I treat myself...Extravagantly.

Here are some of my ideas thus far:
-a new bed (I'd like to move up to at least a full, if not a queen)
-if I get a new bed, new bedding is in order, but I'm hoping my sister would make me a duvet cover, shams, and a dust ruffle
-a new laptop (I'm eyeing the Apple Powerbook, 12 inch)
-a North Face jacket
-Chacos
-a bike (bicycle, not a motorcycle)
-a big comfy chair
-a trip...a true vacation, to Europe, for like 10-14 days.
-a really nice digital camera

Granted, I have things I need to save for. You know, paying off student loans is very important and necessary. But right now I want to treat myself.

"I think nipples without boobs would be pointless"

I spent my 4th at the park, playing a mean game of ultimate followed by "half of a cow" steak cooked by Jeff and Nick. As we were standing in the park, Tsinia said the quote above and couldn't resist putting in my blog. The other conversation that made me laugh was with Wendy. It went a little like this:

m-"I didn't think you could solicit in the park"
w-"Is someone selling drugs?"
m-"no..."
w-"so why are you talking about prostitution?"
m-"I was talking about the man selling cotton candy, but what in the world were you thinking about?"

We left the park to shower and then went to watch the fireworks near REI (FREE parking). I got home around 11 pm and decided that I needed to head to bed.

I started a new job yesterday and I'm not really enjoying it. I'd rather be doing anything else but this. Emily keeps reminding me that you can do anything for a month, but I don't know if that's true. My friend Bri sent me a good site for jobs and there is one in leadership and helping women in leadership...perhaps that is the one.

I talked to Craig on the phone last night on the phone....all I can say is that I miss that kid...A LOT.

We are celebrating Mark's birthday on Saturday at the Painted Bench and I'm really excited. I'm hanging out with Maria tonight, Beth tomorrow, and have no idea what I am doing on Friday.

I'm just realizing how hard it is to post on a regular basis when you actually have to work a "real" job.