To all of those who are in Kansas City, that I didn't call while I was in town this weekend, I ask of your forgiveness. It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with you, it was just the fact that in light of the situation with my grandmother (who is sick, and will probably pass away sometime soon), all I really wanted was to spend the weekend with my family. Granted, it was a decent trip home, but since my best friend no longer lives there, it seemed weird to be near Brookside and not stopping by to say hi.
Anyways, prior to me leaving, I found out that one of our had passed away...not the way you want to leave for a trip home. Then before I left on Monday morning, (actually Sunday night), my parents and I talked about my reasons to move to Denver. While it was a good conversation, it was still hard. But it didn't discourage me from leaving or changing my mind, which is a good thing.
So getting back into the swing of things on Monday was difficult. I arrived home only to receive more bad news about my roommate's father. With very little sleep the night before, and a long road ahead of me, I realized that all I wanted was to go to bed, pull the covers over my head and wake up in a time that wasn't marked by grieving. Saying goodbye, not only to my friends and my pseudo family here, but to my leader, my grandmother...it's just a hard time. And in all the midst of this, I'm trying to plan a trip out to Denver. I'm trying to find a job (and trying to update and make my resume presentable in the marketplace), I'm trying to find a place to live, I'm trying to pack up my room, trying to just be present when all I feel right now is numb.
I'm in the home stretch now...literally. I just need to make it past the finish line and then maybe I can breathe at a normal pace again...