it's funny, since I wrote my latest manifesto, I've spent hours, minutes, seconds, wondering how to actually put it into action.
I so want it to be true. I want it more than I've wanted anything recently. And the truth is that I feel like I have a direction in my life again. Over the last year, I feel like I've lost what I want to be in true in my life. And I don't think Kenya is to blame for that, I think it reawakened some necessary areas. But I could not and I cannot reconcile the two areas.
I moved out to Denver with the belief that love could do anything, could change the world. And there is the part of me that still believes that, but I haven't put it into any action over the last few months.
So to read those words, to have it resonate in my soul, to cry tears of aching, to realize that you don't know who you are...it's a hard place to be. So, I did the two things I know best to do...I shamed myself and called my therapist.
I desperately want it to be. I am putting as much energy as I can into making it true.