In 2005, I had the best birthday. Friends sitting around a dinner table, not needing to carry the conversation, but letting the conversation flow, enjoying each other, feeling loved in ways I had never experienced.
In 2006, well, it sucked. I couldn't understand why people who had never had a desire to be in relationship with me showed up. Granted, I did invite them, but they could have said no. I sat there and watched 2 women come late and leave early and I thought I was friends with these people. 2 men hijacked my TV to watch the basketball games instead of celebrating me, because the silence was too much to bear. What we did afterward, I don't remember, and trying to forget that birthday is worth it.
However, this year was beautiful. Thursday night, I started off with dinner with friends. We went to the Cricket, enjoyed burgers and beers, laughing, talking and simply being. It felt like a family dinner. Friday I took off from work, i wanted to celebrate my day fully. I slept in, watched Dawson's Creek, made the best breakfast burrito ever, went to the Container Store, lunch with Sara and then to the DU gymnastics meet. It was great...Saturday night we went to the Front Porch, drank for free (at least I did), laughed, danced and felt appreciated.
That's the word...appreciated.
In the last year, in friendships that ended, as I reflected back I realized I wasn't appreciated. These people walked over me, told me that I matter, yet never showed it. While I fought for our friendship, asked for the hard conversations, wanted to sit in honesty, they did not. And while I grieved that on my birthday, what I know now is that Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights were all about being appreciated.
So to all that participated, thank you...it made my year and makes me truly want to live into 2007.