Fearful

I am almost always stressed out. Life, in general stresses me out. In recent years, this has been attributed to my job. In 2009, in case your memory has failed you, I lost my well-paying, high-stressed job. In reflection, it was a blessing; in the moment, it was stirring up every possible fear about myself. And that entire year, I considered myself a failure.

I did get a job towards the end of the year. I took the job because it was something I was interested in, but not something I was passionate about. Some days, I know I took this job to take a job. Being unemployed for 11 months will do that to you.

However, due to some recent events, I am now fearful again of losing my job. I'm hoping by saying out loud that I don't want to lose my job will, somehow, make it true. I am good at my job. I've been very successful at my job. However, doing my line of work, in the industry I am in, is one where people see it as an extra, not a necessity. Mentally, emotionally, financially, I can't afford to lose my job.

So, universe, I'm putting it out there...either help me with this one or find me a new one...I can't keep living in fear.