my little experiment

Half way through Monday, I realized I was suppose to be meditating on the encouraging words that Sheralee had given to me. Ironically, the word was encouraging.

Here's what I realized: I need to become more encouraging to myself. I think Sheralee is right, I am encouraging to my friends. I fully believe I have the best group of friends. I have surrounded myself (here and around the world) with people who are fully loving, who are capable of changing the world, who have strong convictions and aren't willing to back down on what they believe in. However, most of the time, I don't believe that about myself. In fact, I'm pretty damn abusive towards myself. My friend Sara reminded me of that on Monday night when we had birthday desserts.

So, here's to hoping that I will give myself a little grace and a lot of love and start building myself up. Here's to encouragement.

enjoy the ride...

Fall in love or fall in hate. Get inspired or be depressed. Ace a test or flunk a class. Make babies or make art. Speak the truth or lie and cheat. Dance on tables or sit in the corner. Life is divine chaos. Embrace it. Forgive yourself. Breathe. And enjoy the ride... -Solbeam

On my birthday, my friend Sheralee handed me a small, handmade card. She selected 12 words, 12 words of truth she sees in me. And she's right, I don't believe in these 12 words are the truth about me, especially these days. But I'm trying to. I've made the active choice to spend the next 12 days meditating over these truths. My hope is simple, hopefully by the end of the 12 days I will know they are very true.

encouraging...smart...sexy...vibrant...generous...faithful...fun-loving...strong...beautiful...spontaneous...brave...hilarious...

yeah, yeah, it was my birthday

I've recently said that 2009 is in the running for the worst year. I don't know 2005 can be topped, but it so far, 2009 is in the running.

I typically spend the entire month of March celebrating my birthday. However, due to the circumstances of 2009, I had no desire to celebrate. I couldn't find a reason to spend the whole month celebrating.

So, I put my desire to celebrate aside. In my words, it wasn't worth celebrating. However, my beautiful friends decided otherwise.

Here's how I spent my 29th birthday. Technically it started with dinner on Sunday night with a friend. I was taken to a great Italian restaurant here in Denver and enjoy the company of a good friend. Monday included breakfast at Snooze, only to be surprised that my friends Christie and Daniel were more than generous, all the way from Kansas City and took care of my meal, pedicures with Maria, margaritas at Wahoos, dinner at Maggianos with Sheralee and Maria and drinks at the Bull. Throughout the day, I got lots of loving messages from friends and family. For a day that I didn't want to celebrate, it ended up being a blessing. I felt loved, wanted, appreciated...and for the last few months, that hasn't been true.

Thank you to everyone who participated. It wouldn't have been the same without you.

Maybe 2009 is starting to look up...here's to hoping for the best 29th year possible.

Having a voice

One of the things I love most about our new administration is that our President is allowing the people to voice their opinion on the changes he wants to make. Whether you agree or not with the changes he wants to make, he does want to hear from you. Amazing...a President willing to listen to the people.

I received the following email from a friend of mine regarding the new changes on health care, specifically on receiving complete and accurate reproductive health information and services.

President Obama has begun the process of overturning the Bush administration rule that limits the rights of patients to receive complete and accurate reproductive health information and services. The Bush rule is a huge threat to women's health, and this is our best chance to reverse it.

In order to overturn the Bush administration rule, Obama has to allow 30 days for the public to comment on what he proposes to do. We need to show our support NOW to make sure his proposal to reverse the rule succeeds.

I want to make sure that doctors and hospitals aren't allowed to use their personal biases as an excuse to withhold health care information and services from their patients. That's why I joined Planned Parenthood in speaking out in support of President Obama's plan to undo this dangerous rule.

Will you add your voice? Here's the link with all the info you need:
http://www.ppaction.org/campaign/hhsorcp_ppol?rk=KdwN_7718C-IW

Like I said, you have the right to voice your opinion on what you want President Obama does on this. Speak up, use your voice. It's not every day in every country that you can say what you need and what you want from our President. I personally don't care what you want to say, just say it. Don't be lazy and not say anything and then bitch and moan after it's said and done.

Having a voice is a privilege in this country. USE IT.

60

Here are some things you might not know about the number 60:
The 30th even number is 60.
The 127th and 128th digits of pi is 60.
Neodymium's atomic number is 60.
A snowflake has six main arms that are 60 degrees apart.
A honeycomb is a hexagon with outer angles of 60 degrees.
Diamond wedding anniversary celebrates 60 years of marriage.

60 days ago, I worked my last day at my job. Here we are, 60 days later, and I still do not have full time employment. The reality is, it's been over 2 months since I was at my job.

I had to go back the other day, to finish up some paper work for my stock options. Walking in there was horrible. It affected my entire day. But I realized on Thursday, that is the last time I will ever have to walk in there. I once said I would almost consider going back and last week, there isn't enough money in the world to have me go back.

Someone recently asked me how the job search was going. Here's the reality, it is what it is. There is nothing new to report. Jobs I want, I don't get, the one job I've been offered, I couldn't take for multiple reasons.

I just don't know what else to do. A friend of mine has offered to review my resume and I signed up for a class through Denver's YNPN (Young Nonprofit Professional Network) for my resume to be reviewed by multiple Nonprofit professionals.

I never expected 60 days to go by without me have a full-time job. I don't know if I can do another 60 days. And selfishly, I still want one as a birthday present and that's 15 days away. Many people I've spoken with has said that their 29th birthday was worse than their 30th. I have a strong suspicion mine will be similar.